In my little span of interaction with corporate world ,have spent maximum time with this specie called Boss. This specie comes in different shapes ,sizes, gender,colour,temprament .The only thing common to them is The Tag- I am the Boss.
To begin with specie 1:
Insecure , Incompetent and Saduuuuuuuu is the category, which harasses the most.They are the most in secure types ,dont know what is going to happen and what they are going to do in life .Its sheer luck that they are the Boss else they are good for nothing.
They have this thing called I am the Boss syndrome,which they want to showcase whenever they get a chance. They generally take credit of their subordinates work. This charecterstic is common in most of these species,its very rare that you find some exception.These cheesers are mean ,want to get the work done ,miser,and Meri awaz suno Kinds.
Had one such Boss who whenever we went out for meetings followed by lunches,would never use to pay.This guy generally use to leave the table when the Bill came "Excuse me i need to have a Fag" or Excuse me i need to go the wash room", or heights- "Need to wash my hands ".
He was one of a kind who's dialect,pronounciation,grammer was out of the world. "More " he use to pronounce as "Morae",
Dude as "duets",Vodka as "oddka".
Once he shouted on our team saying " lets all shit together for the meeting".God that was the moment we were waiting for ,we just laughed our heart out.The entire meeting he was a bit nervous but as you know these kinds he was ready with an answer that "It was mistakenly tongue slipper".
Lots I can write one more i remember was " Sorry for the delay "(read as dalay"), and also Insted of saying "Further to our conversation" he said "Father to our conversation " and the client was all confused as to whose father he was talking about.
Meetings generaly have to be b/w 9.00 to 9.30 when entire office came at 10.And he never used to come at the said time. The Rules were so different for his team as if we were working as bonded labours.
He liked his ego to be massaged everytime and we were those bunch of hooligans who gave a deaf ear to him.
I was so happy when my Boss changed but how can God bless me with a good Boss here is the next category
specie 2:
Ms /Mr Sadist and Paranoid: This category You should not interrupt when am Talking .I am Always right. Oh i can fall sick and need not to be disturbed at home But how dare u fall sick ,oh you are the one who always fall sick , and atleast do the follow up with the client at home any which ways you are justing resting.- Irony is the Boss herself/himself shows up 20 days out of 30.
These kinds are street smart, diplomat to the core, the right hand doesnt know what left hand is doing .They are all so GagGa about themself ,love to hear self praise.Cheery is they are the biggest miser and love to hog on others food . We generally call our boss "Sukdi X" .X is a colleague of mine who loves to eat and only eat whatever and in any quantity.They would never talk about the deal untill an unless finalized coz it might not just go through if they talk about. They would always use the tried and tested option whether they would work or not.And last but not the least would always show themselve Busy,would never come to office on time ,usually absent for the meetings. Luck always favours them and never me.
The day i used to be late she was there early and shouting "where are you ??? If a client of mine did not renew the subscription it was my lack of service and incompetence that the client didnt paid,but if it was her client -Oh that client is so mean ,is a bitch, is just tring his luck and all those bull shits.
If i didnot do my numbers i was losing interest,but if it was she -Oh the market is bad.
If i donot follow up wih Client coz am a human and sometimes can forget i am so careless ,ruining my career, my appraisals,but Boss doesnt follow up coz its not that important or You should not pester him girl.And the biggest curse that i have a car and Madam needs to be picked and dropped from her calls .Chipko Bosses.
specie 3:
This is the Rarest Specie :
Friendly Bosses.: They help you with your work,sometime the work loads.They would cheer youup when you are gloomy.Motivation comes to them by default. They make task easier for you.They consider you HUMAN - you have a life to live. Belief in subordinates comes to them naturally.Proffesional at work and Pals at Party kinds.
I had the privilage of havimg such Boss. Really helped our team whenever we were in some Mess or short of targets.
We enjoyed,argued, had lots of disagreements,but it was our team who achieved the numbers come what may.The Best was- we went for a call afterthe call i had to buy a formal shirt for me ,so i told him fearing what would he say. Shopping at office Hours is a Big NO NO every where but it was 5:30 so thought to have a sneak peak.Ok he said but dont reach office before 6:30 as i too need to buy a saree for my sis's bday.
Oh i was amazed to hear that.Lolsss I really enjoyed those days appraisals,targets - The worst was our team was given the highest targets all the time " By Gods Grace we all ended up earning our incentives."
The other categories are :
The sophiticated Mute -Subordinates overpower them ,They are like our President .They have no choice .
The Coffee Lovers- The maximum time they spend is at a coffee joint with their subordinates. We would work later if required hehehehhe.And why do you want to work i should find myself a different job .
To sum up :I am lucky to have worked with Hari saddu's coz - Learning from experience is a faculty almost never practiced.
Discalimer :
This write up is a piece of fiction and bears no resemblance to any person (Boss) dead or alive .
